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A Submissive Man’s Point of View: Demonstrating or Reinforcing Control

  • Posted on January 20, 2010 at 2:33 pm

John writes:

Many of the things that Ladies could do to demonstrate or reinforce their control derive from rituals – both actions and indicators of position. Actions might include having the man assume a particular posture such as having his head bowed or simply his eyes cast down. Bowing at the head or waist, curtseying, kneeling either upon the Lady’s entry into a room, or at the time of rendering a service, or at specific instruction from the Lady would certainly both demonstrate the Lady’s superior position and reinforce the man’s submissive position.

Kneeling is a simple yet strong posture that you have employed in the experiences. The use of the position at the start of or the end of a day’s activities does allow for reflection, and I have found that it has helped to move me to what is sometimes referred to as sub space, a place where I am particularly attuned to the needs and desires of the Dominant.

Relative postures can be reinforced with verbal cues, which can be in a vast range and can take many forms, such as positive reinforcement (compliments for good service and the occasional, “you are doing so well”), straight direction, or negative reinforcement such as scolding or words intended to cause the submissive to feel embarrassment. I find quiet reinforcement combined with the occasional verbal reminder of relative position most effective.

From the man, simple rules of how to appropriately address the Lady serve as direct methods of control and a reminder of position. Specifying and insisting upon the method of address (“Lady Julia” for example). Requiring verbal acknowledgment of any direction and prohibiting any disagreement or argument would be means of reinforcing control.

Attire can play a part, obviously. When naked, particularly if the Lady is clothed, one is naturally submissive. Adding a particular uniform, particularly one that the Lady finds attractive and interesting is also an effective method of establishing relative roles. Having the man wear a garment or piece of jewelry not ordinarily worn is a simple method of reinforcement.

There are certainly other techniques for the demonstration or reinforcement of an exchange of power. Among two in a real life relationship, communication about particular methods is extremely important, and it would certainly seem that introducing or experimenting with different methods might prove both enjoyable and productive. Avoiding a laundry list of requirements that becomes over burdensome on the Lady, and therefore counterproductive, is critical.

Guest Writers

  • Posted on January 20, 2010 at 1:15 pm

From time to time I will be posting the thoughts of various guest writers. It is my hope this information will offer readers a more well-rounded point of view. If you have something you would like to share, please feel free to contact me. If you would like a writing assignment, then you may contact me as well ;)

Please note: these writers are not experts. They, like me, are not giving advice, rather they are simply sharing what works for them. While I may agree with much of what they say, the posting of their thoughts does not necessarily mean I think what works for them will work for me or for you.

This blog is about sharing ideas and points of view that might help others in their search for what feels right for them.