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From the Past

  • Posted on January 26, 2010 at 2:59 pm

There are a few things on my personal website and blog(s) that I have, in the past, labeled as “Simple Dominance”. They’re nothing earthshatteringly novel. In fact these may all be things that have passed through your mind at one point. I share them in case you, like me, sometimes need something to stir your imagination.

These last three are some general remarks about simple dominance and the average woman.

You’re probably already more in control than you realize.

Most women have long controlled their men in very subtle ways. I think quite often we don’t even realize we’re doing it because at least to some degree, it’s instinctive. If we become more aware of what’s transpiring and at the right moment point out to him what has happened, we can really push our submissive fella’s buttons.

Dominance and the Soft Cloak of Femininity

You don’t have to be a bitch to be in control.

If I Were a Vanilla Woman

Things I would like to say to my partner if he approached me about dominating him.

Step into the Shower, Pet

  • Posted on January 21, 2010 at 10:09 pm

I hear you milling around in the bathroom, surreptitiously attempting to catch a peek at my body as I shower. Smiling, I wonder if I should pull you into the shower and take you right there, or if I should leave you where you are, wanting and aching.

Taking you. I’ve never been really good at denying that urge even if I am in the midst of denying your cock any pleasure.

Suddenly, struck by a plan that allows me a bit of both options, (pleasure for me, tease and denial for you), I smile.

Pulling back the shower curtain, my eyes take in the sight of you. Conveniently, you are naked. You aren’t trying to tempt me, are you, pet?

“Go into the bedroom, open my top dresser drawer and remove my cotton gloves. Bring them to me.”

“Your cotton gloves? Why do…” Your words trail off at my look, a mixture of hunger and determination that means I will abide no questions.

Hurriedly you fetch the gloves and return, standing an arm’s reach from the shower door. “Mistress, I have your gloves.” Your excitement is obvious, as much by the hardness of your cock as in the sound of your voice.

“Put on the gloves.”

Quizzically you look at me, but this time you remember – no questions.

“Now, step in the shower, pet.”

I chuckle inwardly. The speed with which you hop in the shower clearly demonstrates there is no need to ask twice.

As the water falls over your back and shoulders, I lean forward to kiss you. Your lips are so warm and inviting. My fingertips explore your chest, teasing your nipples, sliding tantalizing down your stomach and below. In spite of your quick intake of breath, your hands remain at your sides. Good boy. You know you may not touch without my permission.

Stepping back I pour a bit of shower gel into the palm of my hand, soap up my fingers, and begin running them teasingly over my body. Those soft, sensual curves you so love to touch. A low growl escapes your lips and I smile.

“Would you like to touch me, pet?”

“Oh yes, Mistress. Please.”

The quiet intensity in your voice reveals more vulnerability than your nakedness does.

“Very well, you may touch.”

You move to remove the gloves and I hold up my hand to stop you.

“What are you doing, pet?”

“Removing the gloves so I may touch you, Mistress?”

I couldn’t help but laugh as realization dawns. “I must touch you .. while wearing these gloves, Mistress?” Your expression transitions from incredulity to dismay to… yes.. there it is.. excitement.

“Stand behind me and allow your gloved hands to caress me. That’s right.. your strong hands wrapped in all that softness feels so good. It’s a pity you’re being denied, pet. I know how much you love the touch of my soft, silky skin. You don’t mind being denied for me, do you, pet?” My soft moans of pleasure distract you, delaying your response.

“Yes, Mistress. I mean.. No, Mistress.”

Another laugh. “Well, which is it, pet? Yes or no?”

“Yes, I mind. I mean, I want to touch you. I soooo want to touch you. But no, I don’t mind because even more than I want to touch you – which is a WHOLE LOT Mistress – I want to please you.”

“Continue caressing my body, pet. There – cup my breasts and play with my nipples. Mmmmm. Oh… poor you. You love touching my nipples better than almost any other part of my body.”

You sigh softly.

“It seems to me… well… you tell me, pet. Which part of my body do you love to touch more than anything? Even more than my breasts and nipples?”

“Your pussy, Mistress.”

“Oh yes. I remember now.” I laugh. I cannot help but to enjoy the look of sheer frustration on your face. “Well, let’s see, I don’t think those gloves will feel very good against the softness between my thighs, do you, pet?”

“No, Mistress!”, you agree with so much eagerness.

“I suppose I could let you take off the gloves but… oh no. You are being denied right now… aren’t you, pet?”, I ask in a laughter-laced voice.

“Yes, Mistress.”

“Well, allowing you to touch me just won’t do, will it, pet?”

“No, Mistress”. I think the tease is getting to you, pet ;)

“Go and retrieve my new dildo.”

“Yes, Mistress.”

As you turn to step out of the shower I laugh, draw you back to me, and kiss you softly. “Get down on your knees in front of me, pet. First, adjust the water so you don’t drown ;) Now. Tell me. How much do you love me?”

“More than anything, Mistress!” The look in your eyes melts my heart. I so love you as well.

“Which would you prefer? To end your period of denial a week earlier, leaving you with two more weeks of no release, or kneeling now, pleasuring me with your tongue, and extending your denial to end in a month.”

You hesitate a moment, your throbbing cock twitching as you consider the cost of your choice. Smiling, you lean forward to demonstrate your reply.

~ ~

(c) 2010 Lady Julia

Thanks to a very good boy I know for the idea of the shower mitts. See what happens when you say or do something that sparks my imagination? ;)

A Submissive Man’s Point of View: Demonstrating or Reinforcing Control

  • Posted on January 20, 2010 at 2:33 pm

John writes:

Many of the things that Ladies could do to demonstrate or reinforce their control derive from rituals – both actions and indicators of position. Actions might include having the man assume a particular posture such as having his head bowed or simply his eyes cast down. Bowing at the head or waist, curtseying, kneeling either upon the Lady’s entry into a room, or at the time of rendering a service, or at specific instruction from the Lady would certainly both demonstrate the Lady’s superior position and reinforce the man’s submissive position.

Kneeling is a simple yet strong posture that you have employed in the experiences. The use of the position at the start of or the end of a day’s activities does allow for reflection, and I have found that it has helped to move me to what is sometimes referred to as sub space, a place where I am particularly attuned to the needs and desires of the Dominant.

Relative postures can be reinforced with verbal cues, which can be in a vast range and can take many forms, such as positive reinforcement (compliments for good service and the occasional, “you are doing so well”), straight direction, or negative reinforcement such as scolding or words intended to cause the submissive to feel embarrassment. I find quiet reinforcement combined with the occasional verbal reminder of relative position most effective.

From the man, simple rules of how to appropriately address the Lady serve as direct methods of control and a reminder of position. Specifying and insisting upon the method of address (“Lady Julia” for example). Requiring verbal acknowledgment of any direction and prohibiting any disagreement or argument would be means of reinforcing control.

Attire can play a part, obviously. When naked, particularly if the Lady is clothed, one is naturally submissive. Adding a particular uniform, particularly one that the Lady finds attractive and interesting is also an effective method of establishing relative roles. Having the man wear a garment or piece of jewelry not ordinarily worn is a simple method of reinforcement.

There are certainly other techniques for the demonstration or reinforcement of an exchange of power. Among two in a real life relationship, communication about particular methods is extremely important, and it would certainly seem that introducing or experimenting with different methods might prove both enjoyable and productive. Avoiding a laundry list of requirements that becomes over burdensome on the Lady, and therefore counterproductive, is critical.

Guest Writers

  • Posted on January 20, 2010 at 1:15 pm

From time to time I will be posting the thoughts of various guest writers. It is my hope this information will offer readers a more well-rounded point of view. If you have something you would like to share, please feel free to contact me. If you would like a writing assignment, then you may contact me as well ;)

Please note: these writers are not experts. They, like me, are not giving advice, rather they are simply sharing what works for them. While I may agree with much of what they say, the posting of their thoughts does not necessarily mean I think what works for them will work for me or for you.

This blog is about sharing ideas and points of view that might help others in their search for what feels right for them.

Kneeling – The Inspection Position

  • Posted on January 13, 2010 at 5:25 pm

The Inspection Kneel

(Click above to listen to a recording of this post)

“It’s time for inspection.”

With just a few words he knows I want him naked and kneeling.  If he’s dressed, he strips.  Nothing sexy or seductive this time;  rather more of a hurried process.  He kneels with his thighs at a 90 degree angle, his upper body straight, stomach muscles tight, his butt cheeks clenched, his hands clasped behind his back, his eyes open and his gaze fixed ahead.  Under no circumstances may he move unless I direct him to do so.

I remind him how excited I am to see him before me in this very vulnerable position.  His cock stiffens, but his gaze doesn’t shift to meet my eyes.  Straight ahead unless otherwise instructed.

I circle slowly, eyes roving his body.   I may caress his beautiful flesh*, perhaps not.  The uncertainty excites him almost as much as the touch.  Sometimes my fingertips trace the curve of his jaw, the outline of his lips.  Cradling his face in my hands.  I want him to know that surrender may sometimes be filled with moments of sweet, gentle tenderness.  At other times, I cannot resist caressing his behind.  Most times I cannot resist caressing his behind :)    Usually I  remember his cock – my cock – in some way.  My fingertips may simply circle the head, having him taste his own precum either from my finger or.. from my tongue.   I might sit in front of him and tease him with my feet.   A soft, silky cloth may drive him to distraction.  So many options..

Soft lips brush against his ear.  “You are mine.  I own you.  I control your body and your mind.”  His quick breath signals I have touched a nerve.  He knows more is surely to come.

~

*If he’s mine, he’s beautiful.  All shapes and sizes are beautiful when they belong to you..

Kneeling: The Contemplative Kneel

  • Posted on January 9, 2010 at 11:34 am

The act of kneeling is very powerful for a submissive man. For many it demonstrates respect, devotion, and the symbolic surrendering of control.

There are a variety of ways for someone to kneel, so I make certain I offer instructions on how I want him to kneel for specific activities.

Whenever I want him to take a few moments to center himself by thinking about his submission and my control, I instruct him to assume what I refer to as the Contemplative Kneel.  He is to kneel sitting back on his shins, his legs together, palms flat on his thighs.  His head is bowed and his eyes closed. He maintains this position for a few moments while he clears his mind of all thoughts other than what I’ve asked him to reflect upon.

Instructing him to kneel each morning upon awakening and every evening before climbing into bed, centering himself by thinking of his commitment to submit, is a very powerful, relationship-strengthening ritual.

Text Messaging

  • Posted on January 7, 2010 at 1:46 am

I really enjoy using text messaging to send unanticipated commands or reminders, especially when he’s at work or with friends (smiles).

“Tonight when you come home, strip off all your clothes the minute the door closes behind you. Kneel, and wait there for my instructions.”

“Are you thinking of me and how wonderful it is that I control your body and your mind?”

“I’m at home lying on my bed, touching myself and thinking of you.”

Something like this adds a bit of excitement and I suppose a bit of edginess because I’ve interrupted his day (perhaps when he is in the company of others) to remind him that he is mine and that I want him. Many submissive men crave regular reminders that we control them and that we enjoy this control. A text message is a simple thing to do, it takes so little time, yet it elicits a big response.

~ Lady Julia