Rituals are common in our society. Some people salute the flag, some place their hands over their hearts and stand whenever the Star Spangled Banner is played or sang. We have Christmas rituals, birthday rituals, etc. These activities are often very powerful, some demonstrating deep respect while others link actions to other feelings (submissiveness, arousal, love, etc). This is certainly true for Femdom rituals. The act(s) can draw the submissive’s mind to a place or state of mind established by his Domme while reinforcing her control over him and his submission to her.
A google search of the words “rituals” and “BDSM” will provide a wide list of examples – everything from the simple but very powerful act of kneeling whenever in the presence of the Domme to some more extreme activities. In the beginning of a relationship or when transitioning from a more traditional relationship to a female led or Femdom relationship, it seems easiest to begin with something simple.
Perhaps a Domme might instruct her partner to kneel beside the bed every night and await permission to join her.
She might require that he serve her breakfast in bed one morning a week without prompting and without assistance (his “uniform” might be a white shirt and a tie – nothing else).
He might be required to wear a symbolic “collar” on his cock whenever going out – something as simple as a ribbon. Since ownership and control of his orgasms is a very important area of control to many men, that little ribbon can come to mean a lot to him.
She may assign a particular article of clothing he is to wear when doing household chores. It all depends on what appeals to her. I like a chef’s apron. It protects all the vital bits from chemicals and leaves his bottom exposed for me to see and touch. Some find panties, heels or some sort of formal uniform appealing. I suggest selecting apparel that excites you if possible or at the very least, something you find enjoyable to observe. The stronger your reaction – the stronger his will be.
When establishing the ritual, I explain why I chose the act, what it means to me, and what I hope it will mean to him. Whatever I say, I make certain to mention that it is symbolic of my control over him, my desire for him, and my feelings about him and his submissiveness. It may not be the same for everyone, but I’ve yet to require something of a man who didn’t need to at least occasionally hear reassurances on these three things.
The possibilities for rituals are endless. When choosing what you would like to establish as your first ritual, I suggest choosing something meaningful, simple, and sexy to you both. Don’t be afraid to begin – you can always stop, revise, or add to it as time goes by.
~ Lady Julia