• Physical tease. Movie and TV time can lead to soooo much fun.
• A ritual involving shower time. A simple and easy ritual for you, a very powerful and exciting time for him :)
• Being playful over the phone. There’s nothing quite like seeing a man squirm from pleasurable discomfort.
• Simple card game tease. This has been so much fun for me!
• A tease and denial idea from a friend. Can you tell I like tease and denial activities? :)
• Orgasm control – the eight day plan. Yet another orgasm control, tease and denial idea.

These last three are some general remarks about simple dominance and the average woman.

You’re probably already more in control than you realize.

Most women have long controlled their men in very subtle ways. I think quite often we don’t even realize we’re doing it because at least to some degree, it’s instinctive. If we become more aware of what’s transpiring and at the right moment point out to him what has happened, we can really push our submissive fella’s buttons.

Dominance and the Soft Cloak of Femininity

You don’t have to be a bitch to be in control.

If I Were a Vanilla Woman

Things I would like to say to my partner if he approached me about dominating him.

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From the Past is a post from: Simple Dominance, (c) 2010 Lady Julia. If you enjoyed this post or have something to add, please leave a comment. Remember, feedback typically encourages writers to write more ;)

There are a variety of ways for someone to kneel, so I make certain I offer instructions on how I want him to kneel for specific activities.

Whenever I want him to take a few moments to center himself by thinking about his submission and my control, I instruct him to assume what I refer to as the Contemplative Kneel.  He is to kneel sitting back on his shins, his legs together, palms flat on his thighs.  His head is bowed and his eyes closed. He maintains this position for a few moments while he clears his mind of all thoughts other than what I’ve asked him to reflect upon.

Instructing him to kneel each morning upon awakening and every evening before climbing into bed, centering himself by thinking of his commitment to submit, is a very powerful, relationship-strengthening ritual.

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Kneeling: The Contemplative Kneel is a post from: Simple Dominance, (c) 2010 Lady Julia. If you enjoyed this post or have something to add, please leave a comment. Remember, feedback typically encourages writers to write more ;)

A google search of the words “rituals” and “BDSM” will provide a wide list of examples – everything from the simple but very powerful act of kneeling whenever in the presence of the Domme to some more extreme activities. In the beginning of a relationship or when transitioning from a more traditional relationship to a female led or Femdom relationship, it seems easiest to begin with something simple.

Perhaps a Domme might instruct her partner to kneel beside the bed every night and await permission to join her.

She might require that he serve her breakfast in bed one morning a week without prompting and without assistance (his “uniform” might be a white shirt and a tie – nothing else).

He might be required to wear a symbolic “collar” on his cock whenever going out – something as simple as a ribbon. Since ownership and control of his orgasms is a very important area of control to many men, that little ribbon can come to mean a lot to him.

She may assign a particular article of clothing he is to wear when doing household chores. It all depends on what appeals to her. I like a chef’s apron. It protects all the vital bits from chemicals and leaves his bottom exposed for me to see and touch. Some find panties, heels or some sort of formal uniform appealing. I suggest selecting apparel that excites you if possible or at the very least, something you find enjoyable to observe. The stronger your reaction – the stronger his will be.

When establishing the ritual, I explain why I chose the act, what it means to me, and what I hope it will mean to him. Whatever I say, I make certain to mention that it is symbolic of my control over him, my desire for him, and my feelings about him and his submissiveness. It may not be the same for everyone, but I’ve yet to require something of a man who didn’t need to at least occasionally hear reassurances on these three things.

The possibilities for rituals are endless. When choosing what you would like to establish as your first ritual, I suggest choosing something meaningful, simple, and sexy to you both. Don’t be afraid to begin – you can always stop, revise, or add to it as time goes by.

~ Lady Julia

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Femdom Rituals is a post from: Simple Dominance, (c) 2010 Lady Julia. If you enjoyed this post or have something to add, please leave a comment. Remember, feedback typically encourages writers to write more ;)